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How to get more of what you really want in 2020

Updated: Mar 13, 2020

by Myrrhanda Novak Today is a brand new year, a new decade even. Goodbye 2019 and the 2010s and hello 2020. For me, maybe for you as well, it feels simultaneously mundane and miraculous, intimidating and inspiring, immobilizing and motivating. In reality, yesterday was Tuesday, today is Wednesday. Ho Hum. But, at the same time, today is the beginning of the next decade of my life.

When I reflect back, it’s a bit hard to believe the amount of life I’ve lived in the last 10 years. Having children, losing a child, changing careers, building a house (twice), blogging and starting a podcast. It reminds me that anything is possible in the 2020s, a lot can change, and I want to be intentional about it.

But self-reflection scares a lot of people because, let’s be honest, it can become really depressing. I’ve read a lot of articles suggesting questions to ask yourself: Who am I, really? Am I achieving the goals that I’ve set for myself? Am I allowing small things to stress me out? and so on. It’s enough to make anyone want to curl up in the fetal position and weep. Right? Maybe I have thin skin, but that is a scary way to start the year.

So, if you want to set yourself up for success in 2020 and the decade to come, but you don’t want to reflect on all the ways you aren’t measuring up, here’s a list of some inspiring questions that can help you focus on your strengths and create more of what matters to you.

  1. What did you do this past year that made you feel alive? How can you do more of it?

  2. Who did you most enjoy spending time with? What relationships truly nourished you and brought out the best in you?

  3. What did you do to help someone else that had the most impact? Where are your talents most effective?

  4. What did you do to show love and gratitude to the most important people in your life? How did that make you feel? How can you make those actions a regular practice?

  5. How did you show yourself and the world that you respect yourself - that you are a woman who meets her own needs, respects her own boundaries, and gives from a place of abundance?

  6. What are you most proud of doing/saying/being this past decade?

  7. What did you learn that changed the way you think and the way you engage with the world? How can you continue to learn in 2020? (hint: podcasts are an easy way to learn;))

Think about the most significant areas of your life: family, faith, career, health, money, friends, and reflect on your successes in each of those areas. Get really excited about what you did well and how much you have learned and grown in 10 years. You have survived some challenging stuff, girl! Celebrate your progress and believe in your power to do more of what matters to you in the years to come.

I think this is a wonderful way to reflect back without sinking into self-loathing or comparing yourself to others or replaying all your mistakes. I’m sure your past decade, like mine, includes many moments you do not want to relive. Let them go. Focus on what really worked for you and how you can amplify those wins in the years to come. Remember that the most important thing is to continue to learn, change from within, and love yourself completely along the journey.

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I am currently settled in with a cup of tea in front of the fireplace, reflecting and answering these questions for myself. I have been wanting to, but putting off doing a New Year's journal entry the past week ..... This post and self-reflecting questions offer a great way to elevate the internal dialogue and poke out some inspiration for those of us being extra hard on ourselves at the end of the year! THANK YOU!


Thanks for sharing this Myrrhanda! The new year IS overwhelming. The word “resolution” is scary because we tend to naturally to compare ourselves with people and past goals; therefore, being kind and patient with ourselves should always be top of mind!🥰❤️


Beautifully written. I read the blog about your lost child also..Painful and yet hopeful. Thank you for all of who you are and how you show up..We all learn from each other xo

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