Going on a girls' trip can be an incredible experience filled with laughter, relaxation, and quality time with friends. But one of the most significant challenges for many moms is leaving their partner in charge of the kids. However, I've learned that it's essential to trust your partner and give them the space to handle everything while you're away. In this blog post, I want to share my experience of how my husband stepped up to the plate and cared for our children without any pre-made lists or extensive instructions. I hope it inspires other couples to embrace solo parenting and enjoy the benefits of a well-deserved break.
Trusting Your Partner's Abilities: When I went on my recent girls' trip, I left my husband with minimal instructions—just a reminder about our youngest child's medication which needed to be picked up and the dog's new medication. And to no surprise, he handled everything else effortlessly. When I called to check in, he assured me they were doing great and that I didn't need to check in; some would say he was annoyed. It was a valuable lesson that men can manage the household and care for the kids independently.
Yearly Trips for Both Partners: One of the secrets to a successful solo parenting experience for us has been establishing a routine of annual trips for both partners while the kids were young. By regularly taking time away from parenting responsibilities, each spouse gains confidence in handling the kids alone. Over the years, my husband and I have prioritized planning trips with our friends, knowing that the other person can manage the household in our absence. It has created a sense of balance and mutual understanding in our relationship. And throughout the years when we have both travelled for work, it was no big deal.
Avoiding Overcompensation: One crucial piece of advice I can offer new parents is to prevent overcompensating for your absence when going on a trip. While it's natural to want to leave lists and pre-made meals, it can inadvertently create a dependency on your constant assistance. Instead, give your partner the freedom to find their rhythm and approach to parenting. Trust that they will figure it out and handle things in their unique way. Remember, your main goal is for the kids to be safe and happy while you're away, and a bit of extra screen time or fast food won't harm them in the short term.
Embracing the Break You Deserve: Taking time away from the demands of parenting is essential for your well-being and personal growth. Whether it's a girls' trip, a solo retreat, or any other form of self-care, feel free to prioritize your needs. Finding a way to create space and give yourself a break is essential. Remember, a happier and rejuvenated you will ultimately benefit your entire family. You teach your kids important life lessons about being a good friend and self-care.
Every situation is different: Every case is unique, and what works for me may not work for you. I understand that various factors, such as partnership dynamics or life stages, can make it challenging to leave without extensive preparation. It's essential to prioritize what is best for you and your family. If you can only take time away by leaving freezer meals or detailed instructions, that's the approach you need to take. The key is to ensure you still get the opportunity to step away and recharge. Even if it's not the ideal scenario, it can be a stepping stone toward increasing your partner's abilities and initiating conversations about exploring alternative methods in the future. Remember, the goal is to find ways to prioritize self-care and create a healthy balance in your life.
Going on a girls' trip and leaving your partner in charge of the kids can be an empowering experience for both of you. Trusting your partner's abilities, establishing a routine of yearly trips, avoiding overcompensation, and embracing the break you deserve are key aspects of a successful solo parenting adventure. Remember, finding an easier way to balance your personal needs and parenting responsibilities is possible and necessary for your well-being. So, plan that girls' trip, and enjoy the freedom to relax and unwind while knowing that your partner has got it all under control. You deserve it!